Where Am I? Spin Cycle OR Tumble Dry?
As each day passes, the challenges are coming closer to home. My Mom was discharged early from hospital to avoid the risk of infection. My friend Luis is facing the prospect of losing his job this week. He loves his job. Clients are scrambling to protect their employees, serve their customers and keep their businesses alive. Several of my own projects have been postponed. Fortunately I can do a lot of my work virtually. People are generally scared...to varying degrees.
I’ve read countless articles this week on disruption, complexity, crisis management, virtual teams, self-care, what-to-do’s, etc. Many of them are very good. I keep coming back to the simple question of “Where Am I?”. Am I in presence or have I drifted? You see, when I return to presence, I feel better and I am more equipped to do what I need to do.
If your brain is anything like mine (and the rest of humanity) – it’s like a washer-dryer machine always on some cycle; permanent press, speed wash, spin cycle, tumble dry. This takes us out of presence, which takes us out of connection and the ability to take meaningful action.
My spin cycle (actually it’s more like a tumble dry) looks like this: CNN, browsing the internet for more updates, social media and generally getting lost in thought. I’ve also added an unhealthy dose of sugar to my cycle this past week. You can also spin on more noble things like excessive work or organizing everyone and every thing in an overcrowded home - basically not stopping to experience and appreciate yourself fully. When we notice our cycles in the moment, we are almost back to presence. We just need to hit the STOP button. Then breathe consciously a few times and align with intention. It’s really helpful to have an intention. Mine is to stay connected despite the physical distancing that we are doing these days.
Some effective ways to shift to presence are:
Breathe consciously
Move your butt
Dance your ass off for a few minutes
Appreciate someone
Really listen to someone
Align with intention
Place your hand on your heart
Tell someone what is really going on for you
A quiet moment for coffee, prayer or meditation
Get curious
I want to say a word about this last one – get curious. It serves as a meta-competency in these seemingly unreal times. Get curious about what’s going on for you, what you can learn, how you can show up. Get curious about others and how you can understand, appreciate, connect ad serve. And most importantly – get curious about your fear.
Several times this week, I’ve heard admonishments about fear and how we are all panicking and we don’t need to. I make up a story that these people are actually speaking from their own place of fear. The Surgeon General lecturing us all particularly got my ire. Arghhhh!
The point I am trying to make is not to push fear away (or any emotion for that matter). If we do that, the fear will only recycle – over and over. So instead…say hello to it. It’s fear. Welcome. What can I learn from you? What are you here to teach me? What can I do next? Then hit the STOP button and do what you need to do from presence.
This simple habit of asking “Where Am I? - on spin cycle, tumble dry… or here in this present moment?” is one of the best I know. I do it 20+ times a day (it’s been a practice for about a year now). It usually brings a smile to my face and allows me to re-align. I don’t think you can do it enough. And I’m still a little scared. And then I’m not.
Someone famously said that fear and hope cannot occupy the same space - Maya Angelou, I think. It’s one to remember. I hope you stay healthy, stay connected and keep returning to presence.